queerness as a way of life
Why settle for interpreting a straight perspective on a queer life?
You are not a subcategory.
Queer Talk is an evolution. From a general psychotherapy practice, to a specialty focused practice for those who identify as Queer and their allies. Queer Talk represents the lived experiences of myself and my clients.
Clients seek my services for a new perspective on outdated or ill-fitting concepts of family, sexuality, and personal freedom.
It takes tremendous courage for most people to live without apologizing for who they are. To live for oneself while maintaining meaningful relationships with others is the ultimate adaptive mechanism.
Even in an age when concepts of authenticity and celebration of self are common talking points in mainstream and social media, evidence-based methods for achieving self-actualization remain void.
My approach to authenticity calls clients into the deepest parts of themselves to explore the blueprint for how they have adapted so far and then to begin practicing new intentions that are accurate, compassionate, and optimistic.
You get to be QUEER and HAPPY!
An overlooked aspect of authenticity is joy. Borrowing from the work of Brene Brown we have learned there is no joy without gratitude. For many, gratitude remains an attitude of thankfulness that marginalizes key aspects of authentic living.
If we only are only grateful for the bounty, how do we experience joy in the hardships or with traumatic histories? By learning to embrace the benefits of life’s hardships and limitations, our capacity to be grateful for them expands into the present where we can be joyous in who we are and who we’ve become.
More than an identity, queerness is a way of life.
Queer experiences are largely intersectional experiences. From being a member of a cultural minority, female, BIPOC, trans, and non-binary, or simply being someone who sees life differently than the majority around them – queer people can embody many identities in a single experience.
We sometimes find ourselves living in spaces with strict expectations for what we should believe, how we should present our identities, how we should interact with our community, and who it is okay to love.
Living counter to the norm creates minority stress and isolation, causing externalization toward other queer people. Heteronormative values are apparent in queer culture and present as shameful, internalized homophobia, racism, ableism, and minority shaming.
Considering that we inhabit these intersections of identity in heteronormative spaces instead of queer-normative ones, the LGBTQAAI+ community must have access to queer-affirming therapy where they can explore, affirm, and celebrate their ideas and identities.
Fully Be You.
for your audacity.
Embrace what works for you.
Sometimes, the problems we face are not necessarily in the relationships themselves but are a product of our understanding of language and social constructs.
Rigidity, as we all know, is problematic. Reframing how we see our relationships and the terminology we use to describe them can alter our experiences and interactions as human beings. So, giving ourselves permission to speak and think differently about our relationships can free us to connect with people who validate our most authentic selves.
The consequence of unrealistic relationship expectations and rigid constructs may leave us evaluating our relational connections against an artificial and generalized model for the masses.
The problem with this approach to relational connections is there is no grey area left to explore and few other ways of understanding our connections.
Queer connections are key to authenticity.
The labels we assign to those people and the expectations of these relationships can impact our lives, affecting our well-being and how we see ourselves.
Without fixed and manufactured expectations, we can have more freedom in our relationships and adjust expectations accordingly. For example, holding onto expectations for someone incapable of meeting them narrows the many other ways we might connect with them.
Beyond “relationships,” I encourage my clients to focus on and think about how they connect with people and by what standard they evaluate these connections. Relationships often come with labels that may suggest we should have attained a certain level of accomplishment or stability in our lives.
Many feel we are failing when we evaluate our relationships against these expectations.
Queer Talk begins with an honest conversation.
Getting to the core of your queer authenticity requires some honest talk about how you see yourself now, and where you want to go from here. In Queer Talk Therapy you learn how to dismantle a life time of heteronormative and conservative bullshit to reveal your brightest and most colorful self.
We will focus on what you value, what you are grateful for, and the experiences in your life that bring you pure joy.